I Miss You
by Be My Master
Summary: Song fic for "When you're gone" by Avril Laviegne ? . From John's PoV, and he's reflecting on how he misses Sherlock.


*PoV John*

I always needed time on my own.

I never thought I'd need you there when I cried.

And the days feel like years when I'm alone.

And the bed where you lied, is made up on your side.

Tears burned tracks down my cheeks as I looked out the second floor window at the people milling around and riding their bikes. I looked around the flat, looking for him. But he hasn't been here for three weeks. I walked into the kitchen, still looking. I walked up the stairs, looking at the room that had been mine, but I had started sleeping in his room. he had a rather large be, so one side was always made up, and one side wasn't. That's the side that I sleep on. I never cross over. I never sleep on his side.

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.

Do you see how much I need you right now?

I logged on to my laptop, and found the videos of him I had taken. It was mostly him thinking, but sometimes he was walking and pacing around the flat or a field that we were in for a case. Once, I had counted his steps out loud as he walked away. It had been fun at the time.

I looked over at his picture, the only one of him smiling.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words I need to hear that always get me through the day, and make it ok

I miss you.

I looked around, once again, for him. Not finding him, I put my picture down and tried to remember it. They say that the memory you remember the most is the one that has changed the most. He must look a lot different then, since I think of him all day long, al the time.

I've never felt this way before.

Everything that I do reminds me of you.

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor.

And they smell just like you.

I love the things that you do.

I felt an aching in my heart, as though part of me was missing. I hate the way I have become. I walk around the city, and remember the time that he and I ran after the taxi. I walked into China Town and remember when I was kidnapped because they thought I was him. I would walk into his room, pick up his clothes and hang them up, catching his scent. I remember his thinking face, his ignorance to others feelings, and how he would only stick up for me and Mrs. Hudson. I loved it.

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words I need to hear that always get me through the day, and make it ok

I miss you.

I can't say his name. I can. But I can't. It hurts my heart. It hurts. too much. He left so much behind. He left so many behind. He left me behind. I didn't believe that he was a fake. I didn't believe that he was lying. I believed in him. I believed.

With all that was going on, people were still criticizing him. They were criticizing my detective. I used to get angry at them, but I just ignore them now. I just ignore them. I care that his memory is being desecrated, but I couldn't give two fucks about the idiots who believe the lies. They didn't know him like I did.

We were made for each other.

Out here forever.

I know we were, yeah.

All I ever wanted you to know,

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul.

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you hear with me, yeah.

I told him. He told me. I held him after. He held me after. It was nice, but it was awkward. He wasn't really the physical type, but he liked a hug every now and again. We laughed together, we yelled at each other, we swore, we gambled, I helped him quit smoking/the nicotine addiction, and he helped with my limp.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words I need to hear that always get me through the day, and make it ok

I miss you.

I picked up my phone as it rang. I didn't know the number, but the message gave me a jolt. Of happiness, of hopefulness.

_I miss you._

_ SH_


End file.
